We can only imagine how awful that must be. Thankfully, this terrible plight is easily solved with the new 77in LG M3 wireless OLED evo TV — all it takes is a big enough wall and R130,000.

LG M3 OLED TV wins cable hide-and-seek

The LG M3 OLED evo is billed as “the world’s first completely wireless OLED television,” although you’ll still need to provide it with power. That’s the only cable you’ll find running into or out of this TV. Everything else is handled by the Zero Connect Box.

This isn’t the world’s first TV to move its ports from the TV to an external box, some TVs could do that already. But those lesser TVs still require you to plug that external box into the TV somehow. The M3 removes that requirement, transmitting the audio and video signal between the two wirelessly without losing any quality.

Any decoders, game consoles, or AV receivers you would normally plug into the TV now plug into the Zero Connect Box’s three available HDMI 2.1 ports — one of which supports eARC. It also houses an Ethernet port, a place to plug in a satellite or TV aerial, two USB-A ports, and an optical audio jack.

The wireless tech has a few limitations — its technology, not magic. While the box can be placed anywhere in the room up to 10m away thanks to its adjustable antenna, it still requires line-of-sight to the TV for the best results. You might get away with sticking it in a cabinet below the TV but that’s not guaranteed.

The other bits of the M3 OLED evo, like the usual smart TV features, jaw-dropping picture quality and colour accuracy, and webOS interface stick around. The M3 is based on the already impressive G3 OLED evo, so it also benefits from a boost in brightness thanks to LG’s use of MLA (Multi Lens Array) tech powered by the Alpha 9 Gen 6 processor.

This TV isn’t going to be for everyone. Some people might like their TV cables sticking out, who are we to judge? Then there’s the price. R130,000 is what the smallest 77in model costs. It’s also available globally in 83in and 97in sizes. You might be able to convince LG to bring one in for you but they’ll obviously cost more.

And if you’re at all worried about the seedy pub around the corner favouring the weekend’s sparse Premier League fixtures rather than the clash between Liverpool and Man United, stop it. Showmax has just announced that it’ll be broadcasting the Emirates FA Cup quarter-finals this weekend – with no disruptions to its Premier League broadcasting and at no extra cost.

FA Cup: not without some sacrifice

Obviously, streaming the matches through Showmax’s Premier League tier means there are a few caveats to keep in mind. For one, the streamer’s Premier League tier is a mobile-only option, meaning you’ll be forced to watch Man United’s thrashing of Liverpool through a 6in display, or if you have one handy, a tablet.

And two, there’s currently no way to access Showmax’s Premier League tier without sacrificing the R70/m fee. There is currently no ‘free trial’ option available that would unlock access to the matches for free.

Showmax’s announcement only details this weekend’s FA Cup quarter-finals and doesn’t mention the tournament’s subsequent semi-finals or final match. Stuff spoke with a Showmax representative, who confirmed the streamer will only be showing the quarter-finals for now, though it didn’t rule out the possibility of broadcasting the semi-final and final matches down the line.

Not a fever dream

Fortunately, Showmax is sweetening the deal in the hopes of getting new football fans through the door. Alongside the FA Cup broadcast announcement, the streamer unveiled Fever Pitch: The Rise of the Premier League – a four-part documentary “that takes viewers on a mesmerising journey through the inception and evolution of the English Premier League.”

It is said to feature the likes of David Beckham, Alan Shearer, and Eric Cantona and “unravels the gripping tale of how the Premier League transformed into the global powerhouse it is today.”

If documentaries aren’t your thing, a trip to the UK might just be. Showmax is hosting a competition that’ll send four subscribers and their partners to the UK to watch a Premier League match live. To enter, customers — new and returning — must subscribe to the R70/m Showmax Premier League tier between 8 March 2024 to 31 March 2024.

For more information and the competition’s Ts & Cs, go here.

Elon Musk still hasn’t given up on the idea of turning X into an ‘everything app‘, recently adding phone and video calls into what was once Twitter. Now the app is apparently expanding to… TVs. Yup. According to a Fortune report (via Bloomberg) over the weekend, the eccentric billionaire wants people tuning in to, uh, Tucker Carlson, we guess, on Samsung and Amazon TVs as early as next week.

Fortune doesn’t name its sources, only citing an unnamed employee within the company, but this is Musk we’re talking about. Of course he’s got a video app in the works — one that reportedly looks “identical” to YouTube’s own app — a ploy to try and draw customers and compete with YouTube simultaneously. Whether it’ll work is yet to be determined. Our guess? It’ll be abandoned within the year, tail tucked between its legs.

Or, we’ll be proven wrong, and have to bow down to a new overlord of internet TV. We’re not particularly excited about that prospect. That can only happen if X can lay hands on exclusive content and push the app out to a far-wider host of TV brands. The odd Putin interview or shoddy Diablo IV stream might garner at least a few eyeballs. We’ll find out if X’s unnamed would-be YouTube killer has enough gall to do so next week.

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MAR10 Day, unsurprisingly, delivered a bunch of Mario news

Yesterday was Mario day. MAR10 Day, et cetera et cetera. As usual, Nintendo served up a slew of Mario-related news on a platter, including a Super Mario Bros. sequel film that reminded us water is wet, and a few other announcements that took our cynicism down a notch. The first involves release dates for two classics remastered: Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door and Luigi’s Mansion 2 HD.

Announced in September and June of 2023 respectively, it’s clear Nintendo’s been sitting on these titles for a while — possibly in an attempt to bolster the Switch’s 2024 line-up in the event of a delay to its follow-up console. That, unfortunately, happened. It’s fine. The 23 May release for Paper Mario and a 27 June release for Luigi’s Mansion should do enough to hold us over ’til 2025. Also, a Tears of the Kingdom replay might be on the cards.

The last announcement and possibly the most important involved a teaser for something going by called LEGO Mario Kart (a new game, maybe, or just new sets?) and three new Mario Lego sets hitting shelves this August. The Bowser Express train set is the most expensive of the lot, but honestly, King Boo’s Haunted Mansion set or the Battle with Roy at Peach’s Castle would suit us just fine.

Warner Bros. Discovery isn’t just in the business of deleting movies

You might have thanked Warner Bros. for vaulting Batgirl in 2022, but there’s no denying it set a horrific precedent that’s created a ripple effect across the rest of the business. Coyote vs. Acme is the latest (completed) film to be sent to the bins — and now the company is looking to do something similar for its games.

Several developers under the Adult Swim Games umbrella said that Warner Bros. Discovery reached out to them to essentially tell them that their games would be removed from digital storefronts on PC and consoles. Why? It might hint at the company’s plans for the Adult Swim Games brand — possibly looking to kill it off and watch the tax breaks roll in. Because that’s how business works, right?

Some of the affected developers said they would be republishing their games on Steam, but would lose out on the title’s community pages, Steam achievements, forums, and screenshots. That wouldn’t be the case if Warner would transfer publishing permissions to those developers — a process that takes roughly three minutes and three clicks according to @onemrbean — but isn’t being done due to a ‘lAcK oF rEsOuRcEs’.

You can see a list of the 25 games being removed by the $21 billion company right here.

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Your favourite Wordle clones might not be Wordle clones for much longer

Wordle, the word-guessing game that grabbed the world by its genitals in 2022, is looking to stomp out the thousands of clones riding off the back of the Wordle brand, idea, and colour scheme that The New York Times picked up for a cool “undisclosed price in the low-seven figures” in 2022.

The New York Times has reportedly filed several DMCA issues over any Wordle clones still out there, specifically targeting Reactle earlier this week, an open-source clone used to power around 1,900 other versions of the game. The NYT reckons the clones using Reactle’s code did so in “clearly bad faith,” and have been served the same DMCA takedown issue.

“I write to submit a revised DMCA Notice regarding an infringing repository (and hundreds of forked repositories) hosted by GitHub that instruct users how to infringe The New York Times Co.’s (‘The Times‘) copyright in its immensely popular Wordle game and create knock-off copies of the same,” the notice reads.

Expect plenty of those 1,900 or so games taken down to reappear in the coming weeks with Wordle-less names attached, and maybe a fresh coat of paint.

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After it brushed off Canal+’s initial R105/share buyout offer at the beginning of February, MultiChoice said that it felt the group had severely undervalued it. We’ve got to admit, it’s got a point what with the sports stranglehold it currently has. Canal+ has since returned, according to Reuters, with an improved R125/share offer.

Surprisingly, Canal+ isn’t raising the white flag

The upped offer has to do with how the media group handled itself after MultiChoice rejected its offer. Canal+ went and upped its ordinary shares in MultiChoice, bringing its stakeholders’ share up to 35.01%. Once it had crossed the 35% threshold, South Africa’s Takeover Regulations Panel (TRP) ruled that it had to immediately make a firm buyout intention announcement — though the TRP later gave the group an extension to 8 April.

It’s come up with a revised offer a little early. While the minimum price for the mandatory offer is R105/ordinary share, Canal+ is bumping that up to R125/ordinary share — a 19% increase — to make it that much more enticing.

Read More: DStv’s largest price hike in years will hit wallets on 1 April 2024 – but it’s not all bad news

“MultiChoice and Canal+ intend to mutually cooperate in this regard. Accordingly, MultiChoice will give customary exclusivity undertakings to Canal+,” MultiChoice said (via TechCentral). “Once the mandatory offer is made, the independent board of MultiChoice will be constituted and will, after receipt of the independent expert’s opinion, provide its opinion and recommendation on the mandatory offer.”

Should the deal be approved by all parties and shareholders, it will have a job getting it past the country’s Electronic Communications Act, which caps voting control of broadcasting licensees by foreign entities at 20%.

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Don’t attempt to decode the broadcaster’s motives

That’s according to a report from MyBroadband, who first noticed the hikes, with DStv later confirming the news. Now, picking up a single-view decoder – with installation – will now cost an even R1,000, but if you’re up to installing it yourself, you’ll be saving R200, making for a total of R800. It’s a rather small hike that’s likely to go unnoticed by most. Just how DStv intended it, by the looks of it.

Unfortunately, we wish we could say the same for the higher-spec Explora PVR and Explora Ultra PVR decoders. Both of these have undergone price hikes worth triple that of the single-view HD decoder, meaning a rise of R300 more than the previous RRP is on the board. For the base Explora decoder, you’ll be paying R2,000 – without installation.

Read More: DStv’s largest price hike in years will hit wallets on 1 April 2024 – but it’s not all bad news

As for the Explora Ultra, it’ll be sharing that R300 hike, coming in at R3,000 – also without installation.

Thus far, neither MutliChoice nor DStv has provided even a simple PR explanation for the hike, not even citing the country’s ever-changing ‘consumer spending’ habits, or the economic pressure that the multibillion-rand broadcaster is facing. Considering the late confirmation of the hikes in the first place (27 days after the fact), it may just remain that way.

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The luckiest of DStv’s customers, also known as EasyView subscribers, won’t be feeling the sting of a price hike this year, holding onto that R30/m price tag. Others haven’t been quite so lucky. Those under the DStv Family subscription will only see a 3.1% increase, while DStv Access customers will be forced to bear the massive 7.8% increase coming their way — far beyond the country’s average inflation of 6% for 2023.

DStv’s got us locked in (but in a good way)

MultiChoice, obviously, believes the annual price hikes are “fair” considering the wide array of content it has on offer, from football, rugby, and the UFC to the same four episodes of Friends on loop throughout the day. We get it. We’d say the same thing in DStv’s shoes. But after hearing what MultiChoice had to say on the subject, we reckon it may actually be onto something. Sort of.

This year, the broadcaster is introducing what it calls a “price lock”, whereby monthly fees will remain ‘locked’ in at their current rates, provided the customer signs up for a 24-month contract upfront.

“We’re excited about DStv price guarantee which secures a price lower than today for our customers who sign up for our 24-month deal to beat the increase,” says Marc Jury (via News24).

That means those customers who take the bait sign up for a 24-month contract before 1 April 2024 will avoid 2025’s annual increase, and continue to pay the R880/m fee until their contract ends in 2026, after which they will be forced to feel 2026’s annual increases. Customers taking advantage of the price lock — before or after 1 April 2024 — will have their R120/m access fee comped, knocking off a big chunk of the total price.

Read More: Au revoir, Canal+ – MultiChoice rejects massive buyout offer

It’s an interesting tactic, giving the more loyal customers a break on their monthly fees, but it also gives us an idea of where DStv’s head is at. Can you remember the last time DStv was this kind when it came to annual price hikes? Us neither. We wouldn’t be surprised to see more cost-cutting schemes come into play next year.

Enough about that, though. Let’s get down to why you’re here. This is what each package will cost come 1 April 2024:

• Premium – R929/m (from R879/m – 5.7% increase)
• Compact Plus – R619/m (from R579/m – 6.9% increase)
• Compact – R469/m (from R449/m – 4.5% increase)
• Family – R329/m (from R319/m – 3.1% increase)
• Access – R139/m (from R129/m) – 7.8% increase)
• EasyView – R29/m (no change)

According to News24, DStv’s Access’ larger-than-usual price hike is due to the addition of new sports content to the package, which will see ESPN, La Liga, SuperSport Variety 4 and SuperSport’s Blitz channels thrown into the mix.

Customers under the DStv Stream umbrella have nothing to worry about, for now. According to Marc Jury, the internet-only service is still fairly new — having only launched in mid-2023 — and a price hike “is not warranted.” Yet. We expect DStv’s tune to change by the time we’re writing this in February 2025.

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If you guessed that this is powered by artificial intelligence, you were probably paying attention to the headline. Well done. It’s not much of a blind guess, either, as every second new feature launched since 1 January 2023 has been backed by the technology. Here’s how Disney’s version of it will work.

Disney worry me

In brief, Disney’s Magic Words will analyse scenes in its library, scooping up tone, any products that are onscreen, and even the colour scheme to provide advertisers with the perfect spot to promote their stuff. This metadata collection will also generate ‘appropriate’ ads for what’s happening during your movie. It’ll be less noticeable with older presentations, we reckon, but don’t be surprised if you see Under Armour ads any time Captain America is onscreen and out of uniform.

According to Omnicom’s Geoffrey Calabrese, speaking to Reuters, “These magic words are literally going to be able to connect me to the emotions of the consumer, at an audience level. And for us, that’s really a game changer.” Omnicom is one of a handful of beta testers for the technology but South African audiences don’t have to worry about this particular brand of Disney mind control just yet.

The test is currently confined to Hulu, which is entirely ad-supported, and Disney+’s ad-supported tier over in the States. It’s not over here yet but that’s only a matter of time. When it does make the jump, at least you’ll have some idea of the emotional mechanisms behind your urge to buy both Hot Wheels and specific car brands after rewatching Ant-Man and the Wasp.

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Disney Plus (minus the freeloaders)

In the US, at least. So you can put that rude-worded tweet away for the time being. We’ve been bracing for the House of Mouse’s password squeeze ever since it began trialling it back in Canada back in 2023, and now the time has come. According to The Verge, Disney+ customers in the States are receiving emails warning them of incoming changes to its terms of service that would make it that much harder for the family freeloader to get in.

So why are we kicking up a fuss? Because everything on that side of the world makes its way across the ocean to meet us eventually. Disney may not have confirmed that it’ll implement those new laws everywhere, but our quietly pessimistic inner monologues are gearing up for the change anyway. According to the emails subscribers are receiving, Disney+ has marked 14 March 2024 as the day those changes will come into effect for the US.

MultiChoice wants MORE

MultiChoice, according to TechCentral, feels as though it has been undervalued by the French media company’s roughly R48-billion valuation, and we’ve got to admit; it makes a fair point. It only recently helmed the relaunch of Showmax following a partnership that saw NBCUniversal and Sky come together with Showmax like some media-fueled Megazord. And good luck finding a sport that isn’t already under the Group’s eyes.

MultiChoice Group then went on to say that it had performed an in-house valuation and had, perhaps unsurprisingly to anyone familiar with the group, found that it was worth “significantly” more than the R105/share offer Canal+ had slapped them with.

“After careful consideration, the board has concluded that the proposed offer price of R105 in cash significantly undervalues the group and its future prospects. The board is open to all means of maximising shareholder value, it has conveyed to Canal+ that – at this proposed price – the letter does not provide a basis for further engagement.”

Notice that “at this proposed price” is mentioned in the Group’s statement. It’s clear that it has no intentions to shut any doors or burn bridges at this stage. At least not without seeing an improved offer, if any were to arrive. We’re inclined to believe that Canal+ hasn’t given up hope of the acquisition (see the oil company analogy) after MultiChoice’s letter to the shareholder confirmed that discussions between the two entities had been going on for well over a year.

“In keeping with its duty to act in the best interests of the company, the board remains open to engage with any party in respect of any offer which is for a fair price and is subject to appropriate conditions. Moreover, it goes without saying that the board will continue to act in accordance with its duties in the applicable provisions of the Takeover Regulations regarding any formal and binding offer.”

Later, MultiChoice confirmed in a separate announcement that Canal+ had upped its total of ordinary shares to 35% from the 31.7% it was last time MultiChoice released the information in July’s 2023 annual fiscal report.

“MultiChoice has filed the required notice with the Takeover Regulation Panel… MultiChoice has also requested the TRP to make a ruling as to whether a mandatory offer must be made to all holders of ordinary shares in the company… A further announcement will be released if there are further developments, it said.

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Canal+ already controls a +30% chunk of MultiChoice Group’s equity, according to MultiChoice’s 2023 annual financial report published in July last year. Its stake was bought on the open market over the last three years.

In its non-binding indicative offer, Canal+ has set the potential buyout price at R105/share, a generous R30/share over MultiChoice’s closing share price of R75/share on 31 January 2024. This offer would value MultiChoice at roughly R48 billion.

Canal+ intentions are firm and clear

Before the French media giant can acquire SA’s DStv owner, it has to get the necessary regulatory approval. Considering that South African broadcasting rules prohibit a foreign entity from owning more than 20% of a local broadcaster’s voting rights, it seems like an uphill battle. Bonne chance.

The first hurdle Canal+ will need to clear is for MultiChoice’s board to consider its offer – bonne chance encore.

“Upon the satisfactory completion of a confirmatory due diligence, Canal+ intends to deliver a firm intention letter to the Independent Board. At this stage, there can be no certainty about the progression of the potential offer, nor the terms of any transaction that may occur,” it states in a press release.

“Canal+ is respectful and observant of all laws and regulations relating to the South African media sector and companies listed on the Johannesburg Stock Exchange. Any firm intention letter submitted would be mindful of the obligations that Canal+ would have in this regard,” it continues.

This move follows MultiChoice’s ongoing partnership with Comcast, the largest American multinational telecommunications and media conglomerate, with which it worked closely on the recent relaunch of local video streaming service Showmax.

Read More: Showmax and MTN partner up to launch customer-only data deals

In its letter, Canal+ stated its ambition to “create an African media business with enhanced scale, which can thrive in a competitive international market, better serve its consumers with a world-leading offering of sports, local and global content, and ensure that Africa can tell her story to a global audience on her own terms.”

That sounds like a fantastic idea. We’re sure the bags of money it hopes to accrue don’t hurt either.